that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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