Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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