3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
