Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Randomize
