Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
