Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
