He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
