I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
