Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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