I am puke
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
