There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
