I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
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