I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
