I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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