Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
