these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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