I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
