Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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