Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
There's even glitter on my cock...
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