Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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