Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I think a kid would responsible me up
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
