I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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