We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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