we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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