I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
