im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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