oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize