She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
