Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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