I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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