hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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