I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
