I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Apparently you make a good broom.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
