I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Watching her eat just hurts me
did you just send me my own nude
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
