I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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