I just saw a hot homeless man
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
