There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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