so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
