help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
