the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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