it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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