On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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