I just cut my nipple shaving
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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