Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I've blown a few things in my day
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
