Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
