i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
