my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
