Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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