K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you will always have a special place in my vag
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
