shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Randomize
