idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
