And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
