Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
