pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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