I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
