You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She bit a glass in half.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
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