you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
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I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
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If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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