I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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