Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
