where does the pee come out of this thing
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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