I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
