She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
