K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
