THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
as a side note pls kill me
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