Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
