I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
