$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
