i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's shark week go big or go home
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
