i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
