Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
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she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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